Universal Truths

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether or not it's against the law to have a fire in your backyard.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
The most embarrassing thing you can do in school as a child is to call your teacher mom or dad.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Every guy has at some stage while taking a pee flushed halfway through and then raced against the flush.
It is impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.


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